Decisions Made During a Divorce

Thinking about just one decision during a divorce can be overwhelming, let alone thinking about the many decisions you will ultimately have to make.

This checklist provides a list of major decisions commonly made during divorce.  The checklist is not comprehensive, but provides a good framework for what many divorce agreements consist of.  If you have any questions about how to decide any of the issues below, feel free to contact Andrew R. Fischer : Divorce lawyer.  I’m always happy to set up a free, in-person consultation for potential clients.

1. PARENTING DECISIONS

Some of the most important decisions you will make during the divorce process are about your children, including:

Residency & Legal Custody

1. What type of custody will you have? Will you have sole physical custody and your spouse have visitation?

2. Who will be responsible for making decisions about your child, like where they will go to school and what type of medical treatment they will receive? Will you split decision-making authority? Will one of you be the tie breaker if you disagree?

3. Will you have joint physical and legal custody?

4. Are there certain subjects that will require mutual consent or discussion?

Access or Visitation

1. When will each of you spend time with your child?

2. Will you prepare a schedule so you know ahead of time when you will have time with your children and when your spouse will? If you do, consider arrangements for:

• Weekends
• Weekdays
• Holidays and long weekends
• School recesses
• Summer vacations
• Birthdays – yours and theirs
• Other special occasions

3. How will you and your spouse notify the other if changes are necessary? Will you be able to make up time you miss because of an unexpected event?

4. If your spouse needs childcare and you are available, should you have the option to spend that time with your child, too?

5. How will you handle expenses related to visitation? Will the visiting parent be responsible for that, or will you split these expenses? What if your spouse moves away and makes it more expensive to see your child? Will you split expenses then?

6. What type of electronic access will you have? Phone? Video? Social media? Are there any restrictions regarding this access? Who will be responsible for making sure your child has electronic access to you?

Geographic Restrictions

What happens if you or your spouse want to move? Do you need to notify the other or get permission first? Only if they move to another state or so many miles away?

Can your spouse take your child to another state or country? Do they need permission first? Will you allow your spouse to get a passport for your child and cooperate with the process?

2. PROPERTY DECISIONS

Next on the list are decisions regarding your property. New Jersey follows an equitable distribution model, meaning that if you and your spouse cannot reach an agreement on your own, the court will try to fairly, but not necessarily equally divide your property.

Some considerations include:

Real Estate (House or Other)

The first property decision you will likely have to make is what to do with your marital home. Some options include:

Selling the House

If you or your spouse cannot afford to keep the house on one income or neither one of you wants it, the most logical decision might be to sell it. Some questions to answer if you go this route include:

• Who will occupy the home until the sale?
• Who pays expenses until the sale?
• Which expenses should be paid by one or both spouses? Mortgage? Taxes? Utilities? Insurance? Repairs?
• How will you determine the sales price? Will you both need to agree to an offer to buy the property?
• How will any profits from the sale be split? Equally? In proportion to how much you contributed to the property?

Renting Out the House

Does it make more sense to rent out the house to someone else? If so, who will be responsible for managing tenants? How will rent be divided? How long do you want to rent it out for? Can you reconsider the option to sell it after a certain amount of time?

Keeping the House

In some situations, you or your spouse may want to keep the house. Some questions to ask about this include:

1. Who gets to keep the house?
2. Will the spouse with primary custody keep the house? How long will they keep the house? Indefinitely or when your children graduate high school?
3. Will one spouse refinance the house and buy out the other? What do you do if the other spouse doesn’t qualify for a refinance?

Retirement Funds

Retirement funds are often considered marital property and subject to division. How will you value your retirement accounts? How will you distribute the spouse’s share? In a lump sum, periodic payments, or both?

Division of All Other Personal Property

All other property you accumulated during your marriage is also subject to division. Consider how to divide assets like:

• Bank & Brokerage Accounts
• Bonds/Savings Bonds/Stocks
• Cars & Trucks
• Collectibles
• Family photographs
• Frequent flyer miles
• Household furniture
• Jewelry
• Recreational vehicles/boats
• Season tickets

Business Interests

Interests in any business you or your spouse own may also be subject to division. How will you value the business? How will you distribute the spouse’s share? In a lump sum, periodic payments, or both?

Debts & Liabilities

Just like with most assets, most debts that you accumulate during the marriage may be subject to division. Consider the following for each type of debt you own:

• Who will be responsible for paying the debt?
• What happens if the spouse responsible for paying the debt doesn’t pay it?
• Do you need to close an account or remove your spouse’s name from the account?

3. CHILD SUPPORT DECISIONS

Any agreement you make with your spouse should discuss child support. Make sure that you include information such as:

• Amount
• Time of payment
• Cost of Living Adjustments
• Child care expenses for working
• College or private school tuition
• Summer camp
• Extracurricular activities

Also, consider when the child support obligation may end, such as:

• Graduating high school
• Emancipation
• Attending college
• Getting married
• Living away at college

Medical

Your child support agreement should also discuss how medical costs for your child will be divided, such as:

• Who provides insurance?
• Who pays uncovered expenses?
• Decisions on elective procedures, including orthodontic
• Who files for insurance?
• How dental, prescriptions, glasses, psychotherapy expenses, and other medical expenses will be handled

Life Insurance

To protect support obligations, you or your spouse may take out a life insurance policy on the other. If so, determine:

• The amount of the policy
• Whether it is term or universal
• Who is the beneficiary? Your spouse or your child?
• Will you have a trust? Who will be the trustee for your child?
• How long will they be required to maintain the policy?

4. ALIMONY DECISIONS

Alimony can help bridge the gap for a spouse who has made sacrifices for the marriage until they become self-sufficient. Some questions to answer regarding alimony include:

1. Will you or your spouse be responsible for paying alimony?
2. If so, in what amount?
3. For how long?
4. How often will payments occur? Weekly? Monthly? By pay period? In a lump sum?
5. Will there be a cost of living adjustment?
6. Will you or your spouse be responsible for paying for health insurance, including COBRA?

5. OTHER DECISIONS

There might be other decisions you want to address now, such as:

Income Taxes

1. Who will claim the children on their tax returns?
2. Will you divide refunds?
3. How will you handle previous-year audits or payment deficiencies?

Future Disputes

How will you handle future disputes? Through mediation? Arbitration? How will you pay legal fees?

Miscellaneous

Based on your particular situation, you may have other decisions you want to address, such as:

• Grounds for divorce – What grounds for divorce will you allege in your divorce petition? Do you and your spouse agree on the grounds?
• Religious divorce – Will you cooperate with your spouse to get a religious divorce so that they or you can remarry within the faith?
• Wills – Will you each need to change your wills and other estate planning documents? Do you still want to provide for your spouse in your will?
• Pets – Who will get your pets? Will the spouse who was mostly responsible for their care get the pet? Will you divide time with the pet? Will the pets follow the children?
• Accrued vacation/sick pay – Will you divide work benefits like accrued vacation or sick pay benefits?
• Social media – Will you have any rules concerning social media access or privileges? Will you prohibit each other from talking badly about you on social media?
• Changing surname – Will you or your spouse change your last name?
• Other – Are there any other issues you should address now?