One of the biggest misconceptions about divorce is that you must go to court to get divorced. While you will need to file paperwork with the court to finalize your divorce, you don’t necessarily have to appear in court. In fact, the ideal approach is to reach an agreement with your soon-to-be ex-spouse outside of court.
The Two Key Documents in Your Divorce
In the course of your divorce, you will end up with two main documents:
- Settlement Agreement: This document covers all the issues in your divorce, such as custody, child support, division of assets, and alimony. Ideally, you will reach a mutual
agreement on these matters without ever stepping into a courtroom. - Judgment of Divorce: Once your settlement agreement is finalized, it is submitted to the court. The court’s role is simply to review and approve it, turning it into a legally binding document.
The good news is that you can negotiate and settle all aspects of your divorce outside of court. You have options like Mediation or Collaborative Divorce to help you reach an out of court agreement.
Mediation: A Collaborative Approach
Mediation involves hiring a neutral third-party mediator, often an attorney familiar with New Jersey divorce laws, to help you and your ex-spouse negotiate the terms of your divorce. The mediator guides you and your spouse toward a mutually acceptable settlement.
One advantage of mediation is that you don’t necessarily need to hire your own lawyers, though you can if you wish. You don’t have to appear in court. Instead, everything is handled privately, with the mediator facilitating discussions, and helping you reach agreements on key issues.
Collaborative Divorce: Teamwork from the Outset
Another alternative is Collaborative Divorce, where both you and your spouse hire attorneys trained in the Collaborative Divorce process. At the beginning of a Collaborative Divorce, everyone (you, your spouse and attorneys) commits to resolving the case outside of court. If this process succeeds—as it often does—you avoid court entirely.
The goal of both Mediation and Collaborative Divorce is to avoid the adversarial nature of litigation. These methods focus on cooperation, allowing you to resolve disputes amicably, maintain privacy, and reduce the emotional and financial toll of divorce.
Court: The Option of Last Resort
Going to court should be your last option, not your first. Court battles are often the most expensive, stressful, and time-consuming way to get a divorce. New Jersey’s family court system is overwhelmed, with too few judges handling too many cases. This means judges do not have the time or resources to give each case the attention it deserves.
Court should always be the last resort in family law matters. If you can, opt for Mediation or Collaborative Divorce to keep the process smoother, quicker, and less stressful for everyone involved.
For more information or to schedule a consultation call 732.865.6653. Our office is located at 1516 Highway 138, Unit 1B, Wall, New Jersey 07719.
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