One of the most frequently asked questions during a divorce is whether it’s okay to start dating. The simple answer is yes—you are generally allowed to date while your divorce is in progress. However, there are some important factors to consider before diving into a new relationship.
Potential Impact on Custody
If you have children, you should approach dating with caution. Introducing a new romantic partner to your children before the divorce is finalized can be unsettling for them. They need 
time to adjust to the changes in their family dynamic without the added complexity of a new person in their life and your life. Judges may view an early introduction of a new partner as potentially harmful to the children’s well-being, which could negatively influence custody decisions.
Financial Ramifications
Dating during a divorce can also have financial consequences. If you are spending marital assets—like money from joint bank accounts or shared credit cards—on extravagant gifts or trips for a new partner, your spouse might claim that you are dissipating marital assets. This could lead to your spouse seeking to recover those funds as part of the divorce settlement. Also, if an affair directly affected the financial situation of the parties involved, it might be relevant for spousal support claims.
Grounds for Divorce
In some cases, starting a romantic relationship before your divorce is finalized could provide grounds for an adultery claim. While this might sound serious, it may not have a direct impact on all aspects of the divorce proceedings or settlement. Courts are usually more focused on the practical matters of dividing assets and determining custody rather than the reasons for the marriage’s breakdown. It can, however, stir up a hornet’s nest of anger and make a settlement more difficult.
The Bottom Line
You are allowed to date during your divorce, but it is important to proceed with caution. Avoid flaunting a new relationship in front of your soon-to-be ex-spouse, as this can heighten emotions and complicate the divorce process. Be mindful of how your dating activities might affect your children, custody arrangements, and the financial aspects of your separation.
My passion for family law stems from when I was a law clerk to the Honorable Teresa A. Kondrup Coyle, the most experienced family law judge presently sitting on the bench in the Superior Court of New Jersey, Monmouth County. During my tenure with Judge Coyle I read through and analyzed hundreds of lawsuits between divorced couples. I watched the stress and trauma caused by trials and litigation. I saw what worked, what didn’t, and developed an unmatched understanding of how cases are decided by judges in Court.
I continue to hone my knowledge of my practice areas through memberships in several professional organizations, including the New Jersey State Bar Association, the Ocean-Monmouth Family Law American Inns of Court, Monmouth Bar Association, the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators, and more. In addition to being a licensed New Jersey attorney, I have received Certification from the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators’ 40-hour divorce mediation program.
Armed with both practical family law experience and specialized knowledge, I’m confident that I can help you and your loved ones resolve your family law issue. I realize that these sensitive matters require exploring all your options and carefully selecting a legal professional whom you can trust to move your case forward with compassion and diligence.
